1. |
Surroundings
05:51
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clear blue dream
above overhanging
greenery swaying
in the breeze
my days blur
into each other
still pressured
to pull myself together
unable to answer
every internal question
don’t want to be stuck in here
wasting another whole year
wishing i was somewhere (else)
wandering around out there
instead of rearranging
the same things in the
same surroundings
there are parts
of this place
that are still
hard to face
have to search
for a way
to embrace
the present phase
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2. |
Threads
02:56
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|
re-enlightened from an idea on a page i read
and i feel better for that single moment
then i’m deflated again for no reason
unable to hold on to perspective
don’t share the same sentiments as i once did
but still desire to be more connected
to whatever it is which closely threads
us, nature and spirit within my human
i see glimpses of images
i want to be portrayed as
only to find i was blind the whole time
to what i already have inside
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3. |
Healing
05:37
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|
walking the ravine
at the bottom of my street
avoiding discussing
all our difficulties
of neither of us getting
what we feel we need
brushing it off gently
whenever it’s resurfacing
we’ve been through this
countless times and
can’t find solace
in a resolution
making excuses
for what by pains us
if only we were honest
about how it’s really goin’
i didn’t want to
get soaking wet
and you couldn’t stop laughing
when i slipped in
wouldn’t it be nice if
we both weren’t so timid
about what we’ve
maybe always wanted
|
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4. |
Flow
03:44
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|
want to start again
and make better decisions
with the circumstances
and gifts i was given
i have to change my life
reach for a way
to not let my mind
get stuck in yesterday
gotta find a flow
that comes natural
get lost in a process
of exploring here & now
i’ve thrown away and wasted
so many chances
for me to make progress
or to make a difference
so i’ll pull my eyelids
wider open
instead of being absent
minded in my head
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5. |
Hues
02:45
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|
lay me beneath
the stars
on the ceiling of your
room, hidden away
until tomorrow morn
Ignoring
the unsettling
real world we both know
we will have to face
whether or not we want to
we both envision the
same setting in our
deepest day dream so
it shouldn’t be as hard
as it seems to have you
beside me when the
evening fades into
dim and warmer hues
|
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6. |
Forest
05:25
|
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|
dense texas darkness
when the sun slowly sets
earlier in the winter
after the solstice
i should’ve taken in
a deeper breath In the moment
I became so anxious and held on
to what I thought was so important
“calm yourself”
I try to tell myself
walking in the open
fields far from the houses
|
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7. |
Reality
06:22
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|
I lost the future I thought I had
Waiting for me
My grip on the clouds was tighter than
My hold on reality
I don’t want to admit
I got carried away
Even after everything I said
Of not letting it get this way
I’m still
Processing
How I feel
About everything
I’ve been hearing
While I’m always gone and busy
I wish that it was different
And I wasn’t always like this
So I distanced myself
Out of all the guilt
Seeking shelter in solitude
Instead of reaching out to you
Tried to endure the ache
Longer than I could take
Carrying around my heavy weight
Into every space
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8. |
Loop
02:11
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running around the same loop
trying to shake my blues
because i know it’s good
for my health to get out of the house
cycling through old neighborhoods
torn down for modern homes
i don’t know how I’m gonna keep up
with the pace of everyone
when i don’t know
which direction
i should turn
down on next
when all i’ve known
all my life is
the same sequence
of events
|
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9. |
Overdown
05:02
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|
overcast clouds
cover up the whole sun
im alone in the house
and low without anyone
i would want you to come over
but I can’t figure out what’s the matter
or what we could do together
that would help us gravitate closer
downcast eyes
looking at another slow night
you’re working late
and i have to open early & bright
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10. |
Carousel
04:42
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|
i’m aware of
how insincere
i came across
for over half a year
i know how
difficult i made it
for both of us
to be more free and confident
you’re doing
everything you can
to keep us
close though you’re still hesitant
from the panic
of the past
and all the
questions
it’s causing you to ask
about what you want for yourself
while spinning around on a carousel
in your head of concerns and doubts
twirling up and down in emotion and sound
trying to have
a similar mindset
I’m wanting to sense
from you in this
how do we
grow healthily
naturally
like i see others seem to be
|
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11. |
Keep
05:26
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|
we’re losing touch
and each other’s trust
Quicker than we’re patching our tears up
And I just want to mend the wounds we’ve torn open
And to thread our seams back to how we were sewn
remember the nights I fought my hardest
to show you how precious
your heart is to me
Help me find a rope
For us to hold
To get us out of this gaping hole
That our hearts fell in
while we weren't paying attention
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12. |
Sealed
04:48
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this room is filled with
your gifts and trinkets
and little folded
hand written messages
from when our affections
slowly developed
and from the long months
when we weren’t talking much
do you still feel
how you felt
when these letters
were sealed
now these words and objects
mean more as time elapses
all these moments
i wish i could reopen
to get to back to how i
could’ve responded
staring into the sink
replaying everything
the fake answers
to the vague questions
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13. |
Promising
04:01
|
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|
just hold on & maybe
we’ll be fine and see
(how) there was no reason
for us to be worried
about the outcome of
our tough decisions
keeping us from
living how we should’ve
summer
seems
promising
is this
the best
it could
have been
we’ve been dealing with
our own darknesses
while in the midst
of our existential dread
is this
the best
it could
have been
|
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14. |
Window
04:41
|
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|
getting by
little by little
all to justify
your struggle
find a new rhythm
to get used to
in a groove
that makes you move
always caught up
in the middle
of a stressful
tiring cycle
look out through
a different window
for a view
that could change you
sit outside
in the sunshine
it’s alright
if you lose track of the time
find a new rhythm
to get used to
in a groove
that makes you move
look out through
a different window
for a view
that could change you
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15. |
Landscapes
04:51
|
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|
i wonder what my life will look like
when all the time i had goes by
and all i have is what’s in my mind
and who’s still around to say hi
i spend most of my few free minutes
filling each and every one of them
with as many people and places and things
to keep from becoming too lonely
i may
not be where i want to be
but i want to feel better about
who i’m being
and not become someone I’m not
and try
to to be true, to what i do
in the way i know how to
and let what
i can’t control go how it will go
I’m running out of opportunities
staying here in this city
though i’m close to friends and family
i might need time away from everything
i can only do so much with
the limited options in my head
unless i throw myself into a space
with new and broader landscapes
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16. |
Strangerer
02:50
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|
don’t want to make our days
stranger than they’ve been
i can’t handle much more
than i already have
while we’re both out of control
of when we’re gone or unavailable
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17. |
Shifts
04:17
|
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|
shifts in seasons
and everything's different
out of sorts with myself
and most relations
feelings changing
with the autumn leaves
still not sure of
what to think
of all your letters,
paintings, and pictures
stacked on top of
my fears of the future
i used to be so
clear and certain
now i can't figure
out what happened
another morning
searching for something
to stay busy
and to keep me moving
losing sleep
constantly dreaming
of where i see me
and who i could be
empty evenings
mindlessly driving
letting everything
weigh heavy on me
in the comfort
and safety of escaping
i have no idea
what i'm doing
|
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18. |
Pleasant
05:52
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|
always sad to leave
every early morning
losing all this sleep
should be more concerning
what are we doing
up every night talking
usually spending
the final hour lingering
i'm too sentimental
but i'll try to keep things natural
i often spiral
in nervous cycles
even though i know
you & i have grown close
more than enough
over the last few months
i'll keep my nights
open for the time
we need to take
for each other's sake
whatever this is
it feels pleasant
this is all surreal
i never thought you'd feel
nearly as many of these
ways we're sharing
i'm learning how to take
to heart the simple things you say
of course i want to stay
and it's cool you feel the same
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Stimson Austin, Texas
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